Sense of Change

Have you ever had the feeling something is going to change
 and you don't know if the change will be for the better or worse?
 I have that feeling right now.
 Can't put my finger on it but
it is buzzing in the background
like a bee looking for a place to land
what will happen will the bee pollinate
or sting I don't know  I wish I did
pleasure or pain can come
from the same event
It all depends on your point of view

Summer Number Three

I cried when she walked off the Jetway and I saw her for the first time. 
Ten months apart and fifty-seven days together. 
The time flew by and now she is gone again. 
She is back where she lives again.
I, we miss her already.
I, we love her and want her to be happy.


  

Last Day

OK, here it is again.  I am such a slacker when it comes to writing this blog.  What does it matter?  No one reads this, right? 
I was so pissed a couple of days ago.  I always call my daughter after I leave work and talk to her about what is going on, school and friends, etc. when the subject turned to her mom, my former spouse.  It seems my child support (I also pay for our daughter's medical and dental insurance out of my pocket when my ex is required to cover her by court order) isn't enough money.  There was never enough money.  Does anyone have a few million they can loan me lol?   Aaaagh!
I digress.  I don't mind paying for my daughter's welfare, I only wish she is taken care of well since I am living five states away.  When I hear of how her mother is spending the child support it does upset me.  I mean child support is for the child right?  I know what your thinking.  I should get my daughter to live with me in Texas...I am glad you thought of that! 

Lent, Spring and What is Next

I am a catholic christian.
I am in the midst of this Lenten season.
I am listening to Your words. 
Renewal, my renewal.
Springing forth with growth, 
just as a tender shoot pierces the earth,
 reaching toward heaven.
I too will break free of the earth
 when You call me,
I will leave my grave just as Lazarus did.
I will be home and I will sing.
I will sing!

  

Logic vs. Emotion

I don't react to every emotion I experience.  I just don't.  I decided some years ago that reacting to an emotion without thinking about why or when the reaction is appropriate was a waste of your time.  How many times have you witnessed someone loose their cool because they gave into a base emotion?  It is funny to watch unless their anger is aimed at you.  I mean, they claim they cannot control the emotion once it appears in their mind, like they are a puppet, or the operating system runs the programming automatically without their consent.  You know it doesn't work that way because if it did we would have become extinct a long long time ago. 
I say all this for no particular reason, just wanted to...

WOW Has It Been This Long?

I realized that it has been a while since my last post and I wanted to share a few thoughts.

Being married to the wrong person and not knowing it...sucks.

Divorce is never easy even when you can't wait to get away from that wrong person.

Finding the right person at the right time is a miracle...God is good.

I am ready to move on with my life with my soul mate.

I love you Gail.  I want to spend the rest of my life with you.

Lost and Found

How many of you know someone so well that you instantly know when they are hurting or insecure before they ever show it? 
How many of you know that person knows you that well too? 
You can't hide or dismiss your emotions when they know something is wrong.  You have to face your fears and hope they understand.  You travel through your emotional valley while they hold you.  You see others searching the way you did and you wonder how you have gotten so lucky to have the one in your life who loves you unconditionally.  All the others dismissed or cast you aside as if you were unworthy of their love right?

Do not give up.
Hold fast to your beliefs.

"Trust in the LORD with all your heart, on your own intelligence rely not; in all your ways be mindful of him, and he will make straight your paths.  Be not wise in your own eyes, fear the LORD and turn away from evil."
Proverbs 3 vs. 5-7