New Year New You

 Whew!  2021 is done and now we go into the new year expecting good things to develop and our future to be bright.  The truth in my opinion is that we want things to be different but we seldom make lasting changes to our daily lives.  In reality the only change we can make is how we spend each moment.  This moment.  How do we think about ourselves?  Are we beating ourselves for our “failures”.  We remember every stumble, every failure.

I think I will think about myself and what happens in a new way in each present moment.  I will wipe the imaginary scoreboard clean each time and go forth to be better.

Be better.

Crawfish, Covid and Wine Margaritas

 I haven’t written any thing in a few weeks so I decided to touch base and roll it out so to speak.  My sister and brother-in-law came for a visit last weekend.  Their granddaughter and son also came.  It was very nice to have family stay with us.  It is boiled crawfish season so we went and ate boiled crawfish together with our stepdad and their daughter drove in from the Houston area to join us.  It was the first time for all of us together since Covid.  We laughed and shared the food.  It was like nothing had changed but every person coming in and out of our experience was wearing a mask.  It was a constant reminder of how life had changed.  After finishing our meal we went back to my stepdad’s house and visited more.  The conversations were interesting to say the least.  Let’s just say I can’t repeat what was said without permission from a couple of relatives.  Anyway, that is how it rolls out.  Wine based Margaritas will get you.  

More Than Words

 What can I say when I feel I so deeply that the words don’t express what I am feeling?  

I want to try but I also don’t want to say something that I can’t take back.

We have known each other for so long that we don’t have to say anything to know what the other is thinking.

Pain Sucks

 My left hand, more specifically, my left index and ring fingers  hurt when I wake up every morning.  Sometimes I think it is arthritis but I fear it is carpel tunnel syndrome.  

I should have it checked out.  I think it may be aging at this point or something to just live with but eventually I will have to address the weakness I feel.  

Some days it is more pronounced.  I wonder if it is diet related as well.  Inflammation?  All I know is pain sucks.

Easter Sunday

 As I sit outside enjoying the sunshine; I want to wish everyone a happy and beautiful Easter.  I hope all are well and with loved ones.

Journey

 I have been thinking about finding my voice.  Again.  Inside my head I think I have found it.  In my heart I have doubt.  

I have a dream of being shown riches of rubies and emeralds inside a room in a mansion that feels familiar but just out of reach.

I awake thinking that the precious gemstones are mine if I can find my way back to the hidden room.  I focus on the gems mostly because of the riches they represent but I don’t see the search as the important part of the mystery.  

I think the room represents my innermost thoughts and the precious gemstones represents stories or writings which are waiting for me to find my way back to them.

My journey is on going.  I am searching for what is just out of reach.  What I seek is invisible and eternal.  It isn’t shining and easily found.  

I must find my way.  

My way.

Work

 Work.  It can drain all the joy from your day when you have to do something you don’t like or want to do.  I feel joyless today.   Work.