Swine Flu or Not?

About two weeks ago, I bit the inside of my cheek so friggin hard it bled right then and I had to chew on the other side of my mouth to keep from biting my cheek in the same spot over and over. I babied it for a day or two just to be safe. I am telling you this because earlier this week that bite area of my cheek became swollen and painful for no apparent reason. I put pain medicine on it, I took pain medicine, heck I even went to see the dentist to stop the pain (he told me to garggle with warm salty water). Nothing was working. It wasn't a wasted trip. ( I had my teeth cleaned and checked so I am good for six months.) ...and now for the rest of the story as the Late Mr. Harvey would say.

I left the dentist office and rejoiced in the fact that it didn't cost me any money out of pocket for advice that I was told since I was a child. I began to shiver uncontrollably like I still lived in Michigan and I was outside with shorts and a t-shirt on in January. OK time to check for fever right? Yep, you got it 101.5 F a nice little fever to go along with my aching mouth. I spend the next day in bed waiting for the fever to break. I think I had the flu because I had a low grade fever off and on since Monday. I didn't have the body aches...no wait a minute...that's right my cheek hurts and no damn pain pill is gonna cure my ill cause it just isn't. (sorry the Late Mr. Palmer I borrowed your line) So the fever breaks and off to work I go yesterday. I take every flu medicine or cough drop I can to deaden the pain in my cheek until I had an epipheny admist all my itching last night, maybe it is an allergic reaction to:

• (a) something I ate or drank
• (b) one of the medicines I took
• (c) all of the above

I am leaning towards answer #c only because there wasn't an (d) answer on this multiple choice. I take two allergy pills and sleep on my hands so I don't itch my skin to a nice ruby red color. Oh, I know you have figured out that I didn't get the flu shot this year. I never have gotten a flu shot. Until this week it has been at least fifteen years since I had the flu. It was my turn in the barrel that is all, right?

My Fortune Cookie on Face Book

I like to read my fortune cookie on Face Book everyday.  Most of the time the fortune of the day is interesting, amusing some of the time and thought provoking always, even when I don't like it.  I still think about it while I eat breakfast or when I drive to work.  How can something generated by a computer seem to fit your frame of mind at that exact time?

My fortune cookie message for today was right on the mark.  It said:" if you want the rainbow, you must put up with the rain."  a quote from Dolly Parton.  This little gem hits home for me.  I have recently filed for an annulment for my failed marriage of fifteen years and the process has generated a lot of old hurtful memories.  Memories of pain and anger that I had put behind me or so I thought.  Now every time I think of the status of the annulment and how much I want it; I experience the negative emotions wash over me like rain.  A few sprinkles to begin with and then a steady down pour until I feel wet, cold to the bone, unlovable and alone. 

I have been told that this is to be expected during this time.  It is suppose to get worse for me before it gets better.  The annulment will provide closure for me on the most painful period of my life.  I experienced some good things during my marriage.  The birth of my daughter for one thing.  The rest of the time was pain and denial.   My ex-wife and I fought over everything.  We couldn't go out to eat without having an argument.  I don't miss the strife at all.  My wish is for her to find someone and be happy. 

I have found the one person in the world who loves me for me.

 I am ready to move forward again.

I am ready for my rainbow.

Soul Mates

Through all my searching,
I hoped for you.
Every day of my life,
I longed for you.

Through all my heartache,
I cried for you.
Every night of my life,
I prayed to find you.

Now that you are here,
I thank God for you.
Everyday.
My soul mate,
I love you forever.

You Save Me

All of the pain
I have ever experienced
or ever felt in my life
has been washed away
by your unconditional love
You pay it forward
every time we touch
Do you understand
how you save me
Do my words
adequately express
what you mean to me
You save me
You save me
You save me

Divorce

Divorce is never easy.  You think you are past it and something happens and you start thinking about all the bad stuff again.  I refuse to be held hostage by the past.  I am moving forward with my life.  I just wish Melanie wasn't stuck in the middle of it.  Set her free...

It Is A New Day

2011.

Here we go into the new year.  It is a new day...and I am feeling good.  Good things are coming my way.