Answered Prayers Part 2

  For all you out there living in a vacuum (not on Face book) I am in love.  I don't say this because I want everyone to know.  I am saying it for myself, after all this blog is for me to express myself right?  Just for the record  I want everyone to know. 
As some of you may know, I am recently divorced (August 2009) and the idea that I would find someone to love me for me is almost unbelievable.  That being said, I prayed for just this to happen.  I prayed everyday and believed that God would send the right person for me when He willed it.  All I had to do is wait on Him, right?
I have patience.  I just didn't use very much of it after I started feeling myself again after the divorce.  I tried to help God find her.  God didn't need my help.  I needed God's help. So you can imagine how I felt when I realized I was the reason the person for me wasn't already in my life.
I had to step back, sit down and let God's plan for me to unfold.  I prayed again this time asking for His forgiveness and letting Him know I would wait on Him, no matter what.  Once I did this, I felt relieved that God was in control because I also realized my choices got me to where I was in my life.
I remember praying that I didn't know what was best for my life and that I was willing to choose God's will for my life at that point even if it meant being alone.
The funny thing is I didn't have to wait very long for God to answer me.  Yes Virginia, God answered my prayers.  I prayed that the right person for me, the one God willed to be in my life would be placed in front of me and I would recognize when it happened.     It happened!!
I was almost speechless ( I know you wish, right?) but everyday since then has been wonderful.  Knowing God loves you enough to send your soul mate when you need them the most and exactly when you ask, submit and believe is a miracle.  A miracle that I experience every day.  I gaze into my beloved's Brown eyes and see love staring back at me.  I know she is here for me.  She loves me and I love her...unconditionally.
Isn't that a kick?

Gail I love you forever.

The Real Gift

I am watching Gail make a Christmas gift for a friend's daughter.  I am amazed.  Making a gift from virtually nothing by using one's imagination and know how.  It is the thought that counts? right?  If that is so, the thinking involved in this effort is the real gift. 

To Infinity and Beyond

"It is better to give than receive." 

How many times have you heard that phrase in your life? It is true.  I had an epiphany a few days ago when I said this exact phrase.  It occurred to me that receiving is another form of giving.   You may think I am being superficial and flippant but I am not.  I need to learn how to receive.  How many times do we shrug off a compliment?  A gift we should receive heartily because it is given freely and unsolicited.  I don't want to get too metaphysical on you but we are all connected to everyone else and everything around us.  God made us to give and receive to each other.  When we receive a gift from a friend we are giving in that instance as well.  We give gratitude and a smile which in turn allows the "original giver" to receive our gift back to them.  A miniature form of pay it forward that happens all the time and until Infinity...

In This Season

Everybody is hustling here and there with shopping and parties and it is easy to forget who we celebrate.  God is present in our lives everyday whether we know it or not.  Take a moment out of each day and give thanks to God and Jesus Christ for their love for us is never ending.  Thank you God!

Merry Christmas Happy Birthday Jesus!

Looking Forward to 2011

I am looking forward to 2011.  2010 has been good to me but I know 2011 will be awesome.  2009 was the lowest of lows for me as you may know.  I don't want to look back or rehash the old, so I won't.
 I use to think I would never find the one.  You know the one.  I finally have found the one person who I know loves me for being me.  It is a wonderful feeling to look into another's eyes and see forever staring back at you.  I have been blessed again and again this year.  I know 2011 will be even better. 

Oops

I had one of those days yesterday where my thoughts were runaway trains heading towards each other on opposing tracks to one railroad crossing.  You know what is coming.  You try to derail them before the crash but you fail to slow them down.  Close your eyes, no open them, no don't watch, open them dammit and see what happens. Beg forgiveness!

Thank God every day is a new beginning.

A Thought Before I Go

I am in a relationship with a wonderful woman.  I say this because I want to and I should.  I feel as if I have won life's lottery.  I am a lucky man for having her in my life.  My wish is that everyone should be this fortunate and this happy.  That's all folks!

Nothing

I wish I had something witty to say but the truth is I don't.  I am blogging about nothing.  Hey, it worked for Seinfeld all those years.  See I tried to say something witty and it failed.  I will just have to limp through the rest of this blog and see where it leads. 
Have you ever had an idea for a product or invention that you know was great and you didn't pursue it?  Pursue it OK?  Inspiration comes looking for an outlet.  We can be our worst critic most of the time.  If you aren't the outlet someone else will be and you will wish you had acted.  
Speaking of wishes if you found Aladdin's Lamp and the big blue Robin Williams genie popped out what three wishes would you have?  Think about it and let me know.

Faith

I have been holding off on writing about Faith for some time.  Faith is a paradox in a way.  You have to believe in faith to have it.  There is the whole which came first (the chicken or the egg) debate.  Do I have it because I believe?  Or do I believe because I have faith?   Well here goes...

I cannot imagine life without faith.  Even when everything seemed stacked against me.  My darkest hour was in 2009.  My life as I knew it was smoldering in a large pile of pain and anguish.  If there ever was a time for me to doubt that was it.  Instead of cursing my fate, I prayed for forgiveness for all the things I did and didn't do. I accepted responsibility for where I was and the failure that was hitting me squarely in the face. I knew God was with me right then and there.  I just knew.  I believed in my faith in God's love for me.  The faith that sprung forth from inside my soul.  It carried me forward from that blackest of black day.  It carries me still. 
      

Trust

Trust is a valuable commodity but then it isn't something that can purchased for any price.  You cannot measure it out as needed.  It can't be summoned at one's will.  You know deep inside when it is present and your mind shouts when it isn't.  A person can build trust but they cannot manufacture it.  You can't transfer it from one relationship to another.  It has to be.  It is or it isn't.  You decide. 

Heaven

Have you ever wondered what Heaven will be like?  I think love gives us a glimpse of the divine every time we experience it in it's truest form.  A touch, a caress, a kiss.  A love that burns the soul with the brightest of white light.  A light that fills every crook and crevasse of your being.  Nothing can hide from it.  Yes, that is the kind of love the world is searching for.  Heaven here on Earth.   

Time Apart

I miss you Melanie.  I want you to be happy.  Your smile in your photographs light up the darkness that is the time we are apart.  I still see you as my little girl even now.  I love you and I always will no matter how far apart we may be. 

November 1st, 2010

Love to everyone.  No really I am sending thoughts of love to everyone right now.

The Next Step

Have you ever bared your inner most thoughts and wounds to another?  It is hard to reveal everything, to lay it all out and down.  The wall between your inner self and the outside can be a prison sometimes.  If nothing gets out nothing gets in either.  Personal growth doesn't come from being static.  I realized that yesterday while my inner world was going haywire.  I always said I would hold back just a little piece of me...just in case.  Well what good is a little piece of hurt if you can't reveal it to the one person who will listen to you no matter what?  The telling is of great importance to your soul.  Nothing hidden anymore.   

T G I W

Where is the fall weather?  It was very humid today.  Thank God it is Wednesday...

God Knows

I am blessed.  I have to remember from time to time just how blessed my life is and to be thankful.  Can a person ever really express enough gratitude for love that is freely given?  We are all here looking for the one love that matches our own and for the most part we never really expect to ever find it.  We hope and pray for it but our own doubt sabotage us again and again.  Still we pray and hope after all who besides God really knows what will happen next? 

Two Empty Frames.

I've been staring at the two empty frames that I didn't place any new photo's of Melanie and me because I failed to take the photographs in the first place. Now here I sit wishing I would have.

Answered Prayers

Have you ever had your prayers answered?  I have.  The realization of your direct connection to God is both humbling and invigorating.  I mean usually you pray for God to change things and all of a sudden you realize you have to change...and viola!  Right between the eyes your answer hits you.  You think it may be just a coincidence but deep inside you know.  Especially when you feel the love.

All the love.  Feel it...and know.

Life As I Know It

Life as I know it is many things.
 I want it to speed up and slow down all at the same time. 
I want to keep it safe and I want to spend it like a drunken sailor. 
I want to know what comes next but then
I want to close my eyes so it will be a surprise.
 I want to romance it,
 hold it in a lovers embrace and whisper in it's ear
 my undying gratitude for its gift to me.

Missing

I have been missing a lot of opportunities to write here lately.  It has not been by any design that I have missed.   I just seem to have inspiration at the most inopportune moments like when I am driving to work for instance.  I always tell myself that the idea that comes from within will present itself again but it never seems to.  I try to remember the brilliant light that each idea or line of prose is... but like the flash of lightning that lights the darkened night sky the memory of the flash is all I have.  Try to catch it!  If you know how let me know...

That Was Close

Monday afternoon I had one of those incidents where God's divine intervention saved me and a co-worker from terrible harm or our possible deaths.  I work in the Street Department so I am constantly parking vehicles and stepping out to work on or near the roadway.  We were heading to the job after lunch when the near miss (if that is what you call it) occurred.  I won't bother to tell you where this happened just the facts as I know them.   I pulled the truck over and stepped out of the vehicle to the bed to adjust a piece of equipment that had tipped over.   When I began to reach over the side to pick up the equipment I saw movement out of the corner of my eye and yelled at my co-worker to move out of the way of the speeding pick up truck that slammed into the rear of the truck I was standing by.  I was less than two feet from where the impact occurred and and blessed to just be a unwilling spectator to the event.  Once the other pickup  truck made impact, the driver was pushing the truck that I was standing by because he had his foot on the gas still. When the big bang ended I asked the driver if he was OK and he said yes and that he wasn't looking at the road  when he rear ended the parked truck.  OK, I used to be a police officer in another life so I was observing this guy's behavior while the police where investigating the accident and I think he may have been impaired.  The investigating officer didn't ask either me or my co-worker what we saw since in my opinion we were witnesses( because he said he was at the intersection near by and saw the accident).  Here is the rub, the other driver got a citation (as he should have for rear ending a parked vehicle) but I got a parking citation for being in excess of 18 inches from the curb.  Now remember the other driver pushed our truck several feet with the impact.  I can't really say if I was inside the 18 inch zone or not but how can they tell if the other guy shoved the back end of our truck?  Anyway, I thank God no one was injured. 

Wandering in the Desert

Alone with memories
mentally walking nowhere
 stumbling over the pain
 in the darkness
look up for the stars
look to where the horizon should be
believe it will be there
and take the first step of many

Labor Day

It has been a while since my last post.  Melanie is back in Michigan and once again I am alone.  Labor Day is here and will soon exit stage left.  Bye bye Summer.  Hello Fall and cooler weather (I hope).  I have always liked Labor Day.  It isn't ironic that we celebrate a day of workers by not working?

The Narrow Gate

Yesterday I saw Melanie off on her way back to Michigan.  I pondered life and relationships while driving back to the Golden Triangle.  Imagine my surprise when I sat for Mass yesterday evening and the homily was on our relationship with God.  I will wake each morning and strive to enter through the narrow gate where my heart meets God's love.  

Speak To Me...I'm Listening

While sitting outside this evening, I watched the approaching dusk and listened to the rumble of thunder in the distance.  A Blue Jay landed in the Oak tree above me, looked my way and began chirping like he had an important message to deliver.  I exhaled cigar smoke, looked directly at the Blue Jay who appeared to return my stare and l said speak to me...I'm listening.  The Blue Jay sang his song, gave me one last glance and flew away.  I thought about the encounter, finished my cigar and said speak to me...I'm listening...still.  

20 Days

Summer doesn't officially end until September 22nd but the Summer as I know it is almost over.  The circled date on the calendar that I don't like to look at is beginning to draw closer and closer.  Damn you calendar hanging on the wall.  I see you out of the corner of my eye when I enter the room.  You are forcing me to see the end of this time aren't you?
 Melanie will be returning to her mom and her friends in Michigan on August 21st.  My abbreviated summer which began in June with her arrival is quickly drawing to the end.  The time has flown by.  I have tried unsuccessfully to slow the movement of time by sheer will.  I must prepare for the heartbreak as she walks down the Jetway again and we begin our time apart again.
Damn time apart.
Damn it only 20 days left.

Where I Am

Have you ever wanted someone or something so much you spend all your time thinking of nothing else?   You pray and imagine what your desire will feel like and how that someone or something will impact your life for the better.  I am there.  Oh, I am there. 

A Note to Melanie

I decided today that I would begin to write my ideas and how I feel about you so when I am gone from this world you will have something to remember me by.

I am flawed.  Please forgive me my sins against you.  I have made many mistakes and crashed into the rocks of life so many times that I have quit counting.  I do know the one thing that I did that was perfect amid all those mistakes.  I became your father.  I read somewhere that each soul that is waiting to be born chooses it's parents.  Can you imagine that?  That means you chose to be born as my child.  Thank you.  I have been blessed each day since you came into this world.  My life changed that Thursday night forever.  Remember always that God loves you and so do I.  Dad loves you for all time. 

Good vs.Bad

What a hell of a week.  I have been on a emotional roller coaster for the last 7 days.  While the low emotions have subsided, the thoughts and memories that accompanied those emotions have been camping out inside my brain.  Gloom, Despair and Agony on me!  (I know I borrowed that from Hee Haw) Why is it we remember the bad when we desperately need to focus on the good?  I want the good emotions to kick those bad thoughts asses.  Can they do that and still be good emotions?  Maybe they can. All I know is I need Divine Intervention!!!

Funk Number 7

Have you ever been in a funk and not know why or where it is coming from?
I am there.  I hope I am only visiting.  I want a one way ticket out of Funkville.
NOW.

Turn Off the Heat

OK.  I am wishing for Fall now.  I shouldn't be, but I am.  First off I like Summer.  Shorts and T-shirts, flip flops, beach music are all good.  I am being selfish. I know that.  Everyone else is enjoying the season but I am tired of the heat.  Oppressive, brutal heat.  After all think about Fall.  Fall has always been my favorite season. The weather begins to moderate.  Then there is football and soon afterward the first cool weather starts making it's way down here to us on the Gulf coast.  Please come cooler weather, please?  Think about it you can still wear shorts and t-shirts, etc.only the heat isn't beating you up like you owe it money or something.  Oh, if you own stock in Gatorade...your welcome.

Blessed

I saw it the first time you smiled
I hear it in your laughter
I knew it the moment I held you
I feel it in my soul...

God has you in his hands.

Wait!

I have been spending all my off time with Melanie since her arrival on June 19th.  I have had several ideas for this blog and numerous little flashes of inspiration for new poems.  Unfortunately I haven't held on to the inspiration because of when they seem to appear...out of the blue.   I mean, I like the randomness of it all but my focus is on packing as much enjoyment into the eight weeks or so that I have with my daughter.  So my writing will have to wait. 

Guadalupe River Trip 2010

My daughter, Melanie and I returned from our 1st official Daddy/Daughter vacation in the Texas Hill Country.  We had fun.  Here are some of my recollections of the past six days:

Sunday June 27th  Travelled to New Braunfels, Texas.  It was a scorcher. Upon arrival, after greetings and unloading of the car, we soaked ourselves in the cool, cool Guadalupe River sitting on a large rock across from the Terri and Larry's (my sister and brother in law) camper while toobers and rafters went by.  Only one C O G spotted. 

Monday June 28th  First official float down the Guadalupe for Melanie.  We put in at Lazy L&L Outfitters and casually floated for about four hours to our campsite at Rainbow Camp New Braunfels and had lunch.  After that we floated down to the Chutes and that is where the fun started.  I forgot to mention that my darling daughter's inner tube was tethered to mine when we entered the chutes (not a bright idea).  Needless to say there are several choke points where the river shoots you past large boulders...that is unless a rope wraps around said large boulder and one toober (Melanie) goes to the right and the other(Dad who is starting to enter the freaked out parent zone)goes left.  I was worried she would get swept away down river and I would have my photo posted on the bad daddy website for all eternity.   After I realized all she had to do was stand up and let her tube go with Dad, who was at the mercy of the river,  I tell her to wait and I will come back with her tube and get her.  I couldn't really enjoy the rest of the Chutes because of my parental guilt trip so I hurriedly paddled to the shore and along with her Uncle Larry and Aunt Terri we walked back to retrieve Melanie.  Melanie jumps in her tube shoots the Chutes and proceeds to get out and gives me the look (which I deserved after entering the afore mentioned freaked out parent zone) and says lets do it again .  We shoot the Chutes several more times without any further embarrassment for my daughter and we get out at Bezdek's .  I got a little sun on my ankles!  I always forget to put sunscreen on my ankles!

Tuesday June 29th  We went to Schlitterbahn!  Waited for 2 hours to ride the Master Blaster Water Coaster.  I thought the wait was entirely too long until about 30 seconds into the ride at which point I was laughing and screaming all the way to the bottom of the ride.  Well worth standing in line.  We checked out the rest of the park before returning to the original park where all our food and drinks were.  We spent the rest of our day riding several of the rides.  Some with tubes some without.  Melanie became separated on one tube ride called the Congo River Ride, got stuck in one spot where the water spins you around, met a boy, who helped her.  Made eye contact and smiled at each other in mutual admiration until some other girl got in between them and Melanie didn't ask the mystery boy his name.  I didn't learn of this until later but I noticed Melanie was walking slower and keeping some distance from us adults the whole day.  

Wednesday June 30th  My niece Elissa and a couple of her friends came from Corpus Christi and we hung out at the camp site until the evening when we went into Gruene.  Went to Gruene Hall.  Tried to get Melanie to dance with her dad...unsuccessfully.  I wanted to teach Melanie how to two step, she had other ideas.  We played pool and listened to some good Texas music.  I will keep asking Melanie to dance.

Thursday July 1st  It rained on us and we were for a short while the only people floating the river (at least our part of the river).  The water was moving quicker than earlier in the week.  The warm rain drops felt good after floating in the river without sunshine.  We went through the Chutes again and again...this time without any embarrassment to Melanie.

Friday July 2nd  There is not much I can write about for this day because Melanie, her Aunt Terri, cousin Elissa and her two friends Julia and Trey went to the Imax theatre on the other side of San Antonio to see Eclipse.  I haven't seen or read any of the Twilight Saga...by design.  We ate lunch after their movie said our goodbyes and left the Hill Country in the pouring rain.  Stopped at Bucee's near Luling.  Sampled some jerky bought Mel a t-shirt and drove us home.  I hate getting stuck in Houston traffic without a GPS.  I will leave it with that.

Release

There are so many things I want to share
hidden deep down inside me
The thoughts bubble up like water
 passing through the cracks and crevasses
 in imaginary walls
 erected to keep the world out

My fear pushes it all back
behind the barrier meant to protect
The fortress is now a prison
where my deepest desires wait to be released
revealed to the one who I pray
will open the door
forever

Eight Days

I am on vacation for the next eight days.  I haven't had a vacation since July 2007.  All work and no play makes Richard tired.  I am ready to recharge my spirit.

Empty

Emptiness fills me
 until I am bursting at the seams
 with more emptiness
 than anyone should have to bear.
I vow to myself
 to empty myself
of all the emptiness
 and start over
filling myself
with the fullness
of life that
makes it impossible
for the emptiness
to ever touch me
again.

RDM

Friends Old and New

I have recognized that I am blessed with many friends.  Every day I give thanks for all of you. I don't always express how you all touch my life and influence me for the better.  I wish I could help you all as much as you help me.  That is the way my life is...I receive far more than I give.  Thank you all my friends old and new.

Thank you. 

Silence

Silence is golden.  I am listening....breathe.

Long Lost Love

I was listening to Journey yesterday while driving home from work and began reminiscing about the "one that got away". I haven't thought about this lost (first true) love in close to twenty five years since the last time I saw her so I was surprised to have some of the emotions return to my thinking. I am not pining for her or anything but it is funny that even after all the time I still feel a little something for her. A tiny piece of my broken heart maybe. Our lives were meant to go in different directions I know that. I just wish I could have told her what I feel...and it would make her smile. Oh, the Journey song I was listening to? Any guesses? Lovin', Touchin', Squeezin' Na Na Na Na Naaaaa.

The Path

Emotions like sharp edged, misshaped rocks,
 leave me wounded and bleeding where no one can see.
Still I fight within myself,
to remain true to the path that I am on.
Returning to the love that swells from my soul,
The fullness of it weighs me down.
 My mind becomes weary,
my muscles quiver from exhaustion.
In my mind I try to turn away.
 Not really wanting the gift that I must offer,
to whomever will receive it freely.
I surrender to the pain and feel it,
 in my tears I hear a whisper.
 Love as I love you,
and give it away.
I step onto the path,
again and again.

Peter Frampton at the Isle of Capri.

A friend and I went to the Isle of Capri Casino in Lake Charles to see Peter Frampton and here are some of my thoughts on the experience:

1. The buffet line was too long and I didn't want Snow Crab Legs to begin with...
2. The Lucky Win Chinese/Asian fusion food was worth every penny.
3. There aren't enough wait persons in the slots area (maybe by design) so you will be thirsty...and loosing money.
4. It was warm in the casino area (at least it was for me) and I wished "they" would pump fresh cool air in like in Las Vegas.  I mean it is hot outside shouldn't it be cooler inside?
5. I can play slots for about an hour and a half before I loose the money I originally put in the slot machine.
6. I counted 25 rows of seating times 40 chairs.  You do the math.  Pretty intimate concert setting if you ask me.
7. I simultaneously scratched seeing Peter Frampton in concert off and put him back on my Bucket List.
8. Live music is so vibrant, so organic.  You feel it...and yes Peter we did feel like You Do!
9. I called Melanie during the show and tried to let her listen in but evidently my damn finger was over the mouthpiece on my phone and she couldn't hear a thing it was muffled.  Operator error sorry.
10. It only took one hour and seven minutes to drive back from Westlake to Crockett Street to see more live music at The Hub. Good seeing Smokin' Joe Soliz, you rocked it Joe...and yes, you still owe me a bottle of Pinch Scotch!   

Four Seasons or Life as We Know It.

I was sitting in the back yard in the shade of an Oak tree when a thought occurred to me.  Relationships like life seem to follow the seasons of the year.  Here is what came from that thought...


A single solitary shoot of joy pierces,
 the cold, damp ground.
As rain pours,
 upon the new life.
Sunlight illuminates and warms,
 and growth occurs.

The warm winds caress,
 the young while the days become longer.
Time seems to stop as,
summer marches on.
 In it's happiness,
 life is vibrant and loving.

All the while the sun moves,
into the next season.
and the leaves as well as our hearts,
 begin to fall.
Soon the emptiness,
is all we know.

The cold wind blows,
upon the barren shell.
Where life once was full and joyous,
The memories are all that keep us.
As we see the movement of time,
and peer into our imminent demise.

RDM

Life Doesn't Wait

Here is a poem I wrote this weekend.  It is for a friend who will remain anonymous (yes it is for you).  Who knows I could write a poem for all of you someday.

I see you are waiting,
waiting for things to change.
You don't want your heart to be broken,
 that you can not let it go.

It has you all tied up,
you are looking for a sign.
I see you are waiting,
not knowing which way to go.

Life doesn't wait,
you have to decide.
To risk being hurt,
is difficult to choose.

You will never know,
the love you so richly deserve.
until you take that step,
and begin moving towards your desires.

The circumstances will always be difficult,
that is the way life is.
The only guarantee you get,
is the choice is yours to make.

RDM

Melanie, Dad and First Blood

My lovely daughter, Melanie is due to arrive in Houston in about two weeks for some "Daddy time" and I can't wait to see her walk out of the Jetway.  This will be her second trip to Texas since her mother and I split.  The fact that we now live apart from each other and are separated geographically by 1300 miles and five states make this long awaited reunion all the more special.  To say that Melanie has my heart is the "mother" of all understatements.  I fell in love with her the moment I held her for the first time in the St. Mary's Hospital (yes she is Texan by birth) in Port Arthur, Texas a little over 12 years ago. 

I will always remember that night for two reasons.  One is obvious and the second is surreal.  Melanie's due date was February 2nd and she was making us wait.  The action started the afternoon of the twelfth and proceeded into the late evening before the Doctor on call finally decided he would have to help Melanie arrive into this world.  The doctors and nurses were doing their jobs while I sat basically out of their way.  I remember thinking (1) how cold it was in the delivery room and (2) how forcefully the doctors where going about extricating Melanie from the womb.  I guess they saw the terrorized look on my face because I could not see what they were doing behind the cover.  Here's where it gets surreal.  They began cracking jokes and acting like they were being careless in performing their duties.  The assisting surgeon even acted like he had Melanie in his arms and then pretended to throw her to the nurse like they were playing catch.  I know they were trying to lightened the mood.  I get that (now).  I remember thinking I'm going to go Rambo on them.  Then I saw the nurse place Melanie gently into Marie's arms and I forgave them their trespasses immediately.

I walked out to tell the waiting family of her safe arrival on wobbly legs and began to cry with joy.  I tell you all this because I think about that night as the greatest day I have ever experienced and that although I forgave the doctors and nurses their imaginary transgressions against my family I will never forget.  After all, "I didn't draw first blood" right?

A poem on Thought

A thought, a tiny beam of light
pierces the blackest of darkness.
Sitting behind blue eyes,
the battle begins.

The black darkness surrounds,
pushing against the snow white shimmering light.
Sitting behind blue eyes,
the battle rages.

A thought, a growing spot of light
begins to illuminate the space it touches.
Sitting behind blue eyes,
the battle is waning.

The black darkness retreats,
defeated, once more.
Sitting behind blue eyes,
the battle is done.

A thought, brilliant in it's victory,
moves triumphantly,
Sitting behind blue eyes,
the thought gives itself completely.

The words spoken begins to fade,
and the black darkness chases the dying light.
Sitting behind blue eyes,
waiting to begin the battle again.

People Watching

I went to several stores with a friend, his wife and their teenage daughter earlier and I like to watch people while they are shopping. It really is easy to do.

First stop: Best Buy. I am watching the sales people watching me while watching the new 3D HD television. I bet Best Buy has a very good sales training program because I wasn't there to buy anything and I was approached by at least four associates. "Is there something I can help you with" or "Do you have any questions about anything" Just think of the possibilities if I was there to spend money. Meanwhile my friend finds the digital camera case he wants, his wife and daughter find Lady Gaga without any interference from the sales associates and off to the checkout they go. I am listening to music on my phone/ mp3 player and I notice the floor manager ( I know he was management because his shirt was a different color than the others and he was flirting with one of the female associates) look at me while I was waiting on my friends to check out. The camera case wouldn't scan through the computer and the "manager" never stopped talking to the pretty associate. Finally another camera case is procured that will scan and off we go from Best Buy.

Second stop: WalMart. Ok, this is the major league of retailers and we all know you see plenty in a Walmart. My friend complains about the six different women standing in the doorway looking at their newly developed photographs. Evidently this is a pet peeve of his. I say you got into the air conditioned super store what the hell? Live and let live. He rants a little. I am amused. We follow my friend's wife and daughter into the women's clothing area and I didn't watch anyone in that area because that would make me the Creepy Old Guy. Us men walk over to the Dad's section display (Father's Day is June 20th) and I didn't see anyone acting any stranger than anyone else. My friend's teenage daughter walks over to be with us and that's when I spot a real C O G. This man is walking behind my friend's daughter while she is coming towards us acting like he is just walking through. I give him the stare and he breaks eye contact and walks off to find another girl to stalk. I watch him walk very fast ( I might add) away from where we are standing. I am easily amused by his discomfort especially since I am a father a pre-teen but that is another story. We join up with my friend's wife and head off to the checkout. Purchases completed off we go to the next store.

Third stop: Academy. Shoe department, uh oh, women and shoes, I can't say much except I wasn't C O G in this instance. I wanted to look but that would be wrong. Remember I have a daughter. Somebody would be blogging about me right now. Commerce completed again off we go into the sweltering heat to crank up the air conditioner. Lady Gaga songs all sound pretty much the same.